Stand-Up & Spittle

I’m a stand-up comedian. One night I opened my mouth to an audience, and what roiled was the nastiest belch imaginable. Tasted like somebody’s storm drain or muck boot! A hint of the sandwich the cook gave me registered. By then I dropped the mic, throwing my hands over my mouth.

You’d think this would break ice with your audience. But this group took the permeable paving approach to my first impression. Absorbing what happened between the belch, but not unruly about how I sucked.

Then a guy stood up to make it clear how the cook set me up. I was a noob there. So the cook used mock chicken meat, liver spread, and lard off the grease trap for my sandwich. I gagged, but held as the guy handed me a beer. Yet it was vinegar. But the crowd roared as spittle flew over them.

Aqueous Charcoal Filter Systems Protect Your Health

The children came into the kitchen from playing outside in the summer heat. All were given a cold glass of water. As they drank, they started gagging and complaining about the smell and taste of the water. Mom tasted the water and had the same reaction. It smelled and tasted like chlorine. Dad would come home later, tasted the water and felt the same way. Immediately he investigated residential aqueous filtration system as a way to clear up the unpleasant tasting and foul smell. He purchased a system that contained water filtration media comprised of activated charcoal. A plumber installed the water filtration system and soon the family had fresh, clean water to drink once again, without any objectionable taste or odor characteristics. Have water systems tested periodically, not just when it may have an unpleasant smell or taste. Water can contain many contaminants that are dangerous to one’s health.

The Amazing Life I Live

When I was young, I always wondered what my future would bring and where I would live. I wondered what I would do with my life and how I would live it. Now, I know what my future holds and I am very happy to have the life that I have. I know that I will be a saxophone player Manchester for a long time and that I will stay living in the city where I live. I know that I will wake up each day feeling excited for all that is to come. I know that I will enjoy each moment of my life and that I will always have something to look forward to. I have an amazing life, and I would not change it for anything. I don’t think I could have imagined anything this good when I was young and thinking about my future.

A Day At The Beach

Last summer I took my family to the ocean. The ocean was blue and beautiful, just as I had remembered it from when I was a child. It brought back many memories of my family going on outings and the one time we had gone to see the ocean.

My children went wild over the waves and the salty water. After they finally were tired enough I made them get out and warm up again. We all laid down on the sand. The sun lulled us to sleep.

After a while I awoke. My son was sitting up, running the sand through his hands. He told me that this was silica sand. I was amazed a ten-year-old would know something like that and said so. He told me he had heard about it in school when he learned about geography and different types of rocks.

How it all started…

It was another day. I woke up that morning with not a care in the world. It was another day at school. I was in college. I had no worries. I had no troubles. Everything was fresh. It was new. I wasn’t the best student but I was making my way. Anyway, I got a nice warm shower. You know the one. A warm shower on a cold lazy morning. The shower that lingers to the point you just don’t want to leave. Finally, it was done. I got dressed, had some breakfast and went to catch the bus.

I don’t know why but I completely forgot it was valentine’s day. At the bus stop, I saw the florist Harrogate. I went over to her shop. I don’t know what it was but she saw something. Maybe it was my smile, could be my demeanor for the life of me I have no idea what it was. She smiled at me. I bought a small floral arrangement but she gave me a big one. I felt no discomfort. I just bought it and got on the bus. As I stepped on the bus, she gave me a knowing glance. I took a leisurely ride to school. The bus was warm.

At school, I blended into the masses. It was a very sunny, cold and windy day. I drew my jacket close as I made my way to the library. I took a seat and hid everything in my bag. I waited patiently.

She arrived. We chatted. I still remember that smile. We sat for another study session and I surprised her. To be honest I don’t even remember us kissing but we did and that’s how it all started.

Extending My Glorious Sporting Career

In my decade of working with my company I have become the go to guy in our bowling league. I have really transformed my game from an average player to a great one in only a few years. Our bowling league depends on me to crush our local rivals each week down at the bowling alley. Recently I fell off a ladder doing yard work at home and my back and muscles have been killing me. Needless to say I tried to bowl once and I was horrible.

On a suggestion of a friend I decided to try to get a Manchester thai massage. My visits to physical therapy were not helping, so I took his advice and paid them a visit. That deep tissue massage relaxed me and took away a tremendous amount of muscle pain. I since have been back in the regular rotation in our bowling league and have been putting up the best numbers on the team again. This unique massage has really helped to extend my bowling career.

Hear My Words

Stella sat in front of the television set watching her favorite show. Next thing she knew her mother was tapping her on the shoulder and telling her to move away from the television set. Once her mother left the room Stella moved closer. Finally Stella’s mother told Stella to turn off the television set if she could not do as she was told. Stella’s mother continued to talk and noticed that Stella had not heard anything she had said.

Finally Stella’s mother decided to take Stella to their doctor and after a complete ear check the doctor determined that Stella needed to have an ear wax removal procedure done. Several minutes went by as the doctor worked to get the wax out of Stella’s ears and finally the procedure was over and Stella could hear again.

Getting Old and Can’t Hear

So Here I am getting older and sure enough, my hearing is starting to fail. I didn’t want to except it at the time, but unfortunately it is happening. So I have started researching all the options available to me and I definitely believe it is time to get a hearing aid. Yes, the one thing everyone dreads is having this huge hideous thing sticking out of their ear. I guess it could be fashionable. Okay so maybe not, but thankfully hearing aids Stockport these days are pretty discreet and I won’t have to yell at my grand-kids anymore when I simply want to say I love them. So yes I have to get a hearing aid, but no, it is not the end of the world. I will still be the coolest Grandma on the block.